A journey to find actual truth in the midst of complete turmoil….
What’s true? No really though…
Going through ridiculously hard things makes you realize that all the other things that you cared about before don’t really matter anymore. I am talking about silly stuff like when the grocery store is out of your favorite yogurt, you are having a bad hair day, or a pimple appeared on your forehead (even though you are WAY past puberty). That stuff is dumb. I hate to say that I even once cared about anything that dumb, but I did. Lots of people do.
But when you go through something traumatic, everything changes. I am talking about death, abuse, betrayal, lies, pain…I am talking about the kind of pain that takes your breath away, numbs your entire body, shocks you at the core….brings tears that won’t stop and a sadness that you cannot shake. It’s a pain that makes you want to know the TRUTH. The REAL truth…It leaves you questioning everything you thought was real and breaks you into a million tiny pieces.
It’s the kind of pain that I have lived through during the last year. I survived some of the most terrible realities and walked through the darkest scenarios. I did not know a person could be as sad as I was for as long as I was. Let me explain…
I am a Christian, and I am ridiculously happy person. Like I am always happy. I love life and people and being social. I am idealistic and well-liked. I know sad people; I have just never been one of them. I have always been the person to brighten their day. I am walking sunshine and full of laughs and a good time. That is just me. Always has been!
The terrible I have lived through…changed me…forever. While I am not ready to share all the gory details (it wouldn’t really help anything), just know it was a hurt like no other. I will be my happy self again but not in the same shallow way. My life has depth and meaning like never before, and while I am happy and jovial, I am also empathetic, authentic, and connected.
This website is important. God has been a BIG part of my journey through the earthly hell I’ve been through and has walked with me through the hardest times. I am realizing truths that I thought I knew, but now I know I didn’t.
I am scattered, impulsive, and forgetful. I am afraid those things will never change, so I have started this website to record my TRUTHS. These are the things that God is teaching me through tragedy. I NEVER want to forget!
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Can I Trust My Anxious Thoughts and Feelings?
The answer…well, it’s COMPLICATED. What’s my quick answer? NO!! Or at least not the way our human nature makes us feel like we can. Feelings can be so overwhelming and seem SO true; they can completely overpower us! Our bodies, minds, and actions can all be controlled and manipulated by our feelings.We want to follow…
Raindrops
When you are in a dark place….depression, grief, unending pain, it feels like a cloud follows you around. Those of you that have ever been there know what I mean. Everything you do is cloudy, and I do mean everything….A trip to the grocery store, being with friends or family, going to work, even a…
The Darkest Feelings and the End of Myself
Okay, let me start with this…I’m a human. God made us to have feelings. They are important, but gee whiz, they can be crazy out of control. When you are going through something devastating, you feel so many different things. Guilt, shame, hurt, betrayal, embarrassment, sadness, doubt….this list could go on AWHILE…If you don’t learn…
But What's the Truth? 